You are where you are needed to be.

Sometimes we lose sight of why we’re doing what we’re doing. We get sick of certain aspects of our lives and forget the end goal. But everything has a purpose. There is a reason behind every struggle, and I finally understood mine. Minimum wage aside, I signed up to be a lifeguard to help kids. I have a driving passion for anything water related and wanted to share that with fresh minds. And when the time came that one of these minds really needed help, I was there for him.

A Work in Progress by Connor Franta, page 90
Note: Photo not mine – Credits to Owner

I finished reading a memoir last weekend and I especially liked the part when Connor started complaining about getting bored with his first job as a lifeguard. He was asking if he was really meant to be there in the first place. He has been cleaning the pool for years and has been doing everything that needs to be done to maintain the swimming area. He started hating screaming at kids who never listened. He doesn’t seem to get a fulfilment in all the tasks the come with it. However, there was one day during that time when a certain kid swimmer practiced swimming at 5 o’clock in the morning without any company except Connor who was preparing the pool area for the day. Few minutes since the kid started swimming, the kid kind of whispered “H-h-help” with a panic evident on his voice. The kid was grasping for help when he turned to check him. For the first time in his job, he dove into the pool to save a drowning kid. And after everything, he concluded that doing everything he hated on that job was worth it. He saved a kid.

Humans have the tendency to get bored at a certain point in our lives, especially when things get monotonous or things don’t go our way. One asks: Am I really meant to be here? Is this where I am supposed to be? Is this worth it? Further, what makes it funnier is — that certain point of our lives could be something we desired in the past but we just tend to forget about how we excitedly dreamt about them when hardships came. And here I am – not really an exception to that humanistic character. Let me share what happened yesterday.

It has been tough at work. I made a huge accounting mistake. I carelessly recorded a client’s customer invoice using a wrong currency, USD instead of HKD. It led to a revenue overstatement of a whooping 460K HKD. That one single mistake got me so frustrated almost all last night that I didn’t get to sleep as early as I should. Although I have been sleep deprived for 28 months now because of exclusive breastfeeding but I guess it’s different when I lie down in bed knowing something could go wrong the next day like receiving a bad feedback from a client.

Many thoughts ran through my mind then. “I’m tired with work.” “Am I really meant to be an accountant in the first place?” Am I really doing my job as expected?” I have never been that disturbed my whole online accounting career. I thought, “Maybe it’s time to look for another accounting client.” Apparently, my face wasn’t really so good in hiding my frustration because my husband suddenly tapped me while I was blankly staring at the wall. He said, “Are you okay?” I said, “I’m just tired.”

Since I didn’t get sleepy after almost an hour in bed, I decided to get up to work on other client’s cases. After a while, a workmate chatted about a case I’m handling. He said, “Remember the 184k HKD bank withdrawal that you kept asking about? The company owner finally traced that it was actually done by an ex-employee who tricked them to pay it on his behalf. He covered his name on the payment form and let the company paid for it. They are talking to a lawyer to get reimbursement from that employee. Well done here.”

My eyes widened and I finally thought, “Yes, I’m right where I’m supposed to be.” I mean, I’ve been pursuing Accounting career for around 5 years or so but it was only last night I saw a deeper sense of my work — deeper than just preparing financials for business reasons and government compliance. I managed to hush all the negative thoughts in my mind and decided to finally get some sleep.

I slept very well that night and finished out my following summers of work at the pool with a new perspective. Sometimes that’s all it takes to find meaning in what you’re doing.

A Work in Progress by Connor Franta, page 90

I’m glad Connor was able to find purpose that sustained him to finish his job all throughout. But I’m more glad I found more reason to love my job as an accountant. So yes, Butter Dreamer, your baker-entrepreneur here is also an accountant. I guess I will be in the Accountancy field for a long time until God transfers me to another field. I’m thankful for this opportunity to be reminded to trust in Him who holds the ultimate plan of my life. So another YES, Butter Dreamer, I am where He needs me to be.

 But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.

Psalm 33:11

I pray that all of you who struggle in loving what you’re doing could recognise small victories that push you a little forward until you reach the place where you find deeper purpose.

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